Why Advice Giving Is Not Advisable
Often in our interactions with family and friends, problems being encountered would inevitably be brought up. Inevitably too, in trying to be helpful, we often react by giving advice on how to solve the problem.
However, this is generally not recommended, for the following reasons:
We assume we know what the problem is and forget to be a listener, to find out enough details about the problem and the other person's point of view.
We forget to extend empathy to the woes of the other person.
We get 'credit' for being the one to give the advice since the advice is likely to be something that the adviser has done or others have done that was successful. So if the listener does not succeed or had done it before but it was not successful, the implication is that it is not
Tampilkan postingan dengan label in Coaching. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label in Coaching. Tampilkan semua postingan
13 Februari 2011
21 Januari 2011
Control, Helplessness, and Love
Control, Helplessness, and Love
During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners, I have discovered that an important purpose of our controlling behavior in our relationships is to avoid the feeling of helplessness. One of the hardest feelings to feel is helplessness. Most of us are unwilling to even know what we are and are not helpless over. Our controlling behavior toward others generally comes from our unwillingness to accept our helplessness over others' feelings and behavior. We do not want to know that we are helpless over whether another chooses to be loving and accepting toward us or judgmental and rejecting toward us.
If we truly accepted our helplessness over others, would we continue to get angry at them? Would we continue to blame, to judge, shame, criticize? Would we continue to comply, or to be nice instead of honest? If we truly accepted our helplessness over whether others loved us and accepted us, would we work so hard to prove our worth to others?
During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners, I have discovered that an important purpose of our controlling behavior in our relationships is to avoid the feeling of helplessness. One of the hardest feelings to feel is helplessness. Most of us are unwilling to even know what we are and are not helpless over. Our controlling behavior toward others generally comes from our unwillingness to accept our helplessness over others' feelings and behavior. We do not want to know that we are helpless over whether another chooses to be loving and accepting toward us or judgmental and rejecting toward us.
If we truly accepted our helplessness over others, would we continue to get angry at them? Would we continue to blame, to judge, shame, criticize? Would we continue to comply, or to be nice instead of honest? If we truly accepted our helplessness over whether others loved us and accepted us, would we work so hard to prove our worth to others?
17 Januari 2011
The Power of Vision in Coaching: How to Create Your Own and Help Your Clients with Theirs
The Power of Vision in Coaching: How to Create Your Own and Help Your Clients with Theirs
Having a strong, clear vision is the cornerstone of coaching success – both for coaches and their clients. A great coach must not only have a strong vision of their own; they must also be able to help their client or "PBC" (Person Being Coached) developing theirs.
The best visions are clear, useful, achievable and inseparable from who and what you (or your clients) are. As a coach, if you can master the skill of helping to create clear and authentic visions in yourself and others, you'll be light years ahead of your competition. . It helps both you and your clients with the foundation upon which they can build a successful and satisfying life – both personally and professionally.
FIRST, WORK ON YOUR OWN VISION
Having a strong, clear vision is the cornerstone of coaching success – both for coaches and their clients. A great coach must not only have a strong vision of their own; they must also be able to help their client or "PBC" (Person Being Coached) developing theirs.
The best visions are clear, useful, achievable and inseparable from who and what you (or your clients) are. As a coach, if you can master the skill of helping to create clear and authentic visions in yourself and others, you'll be light years ahead of your competition. . It helps both you and your clients with the foundation upon which they can build a successful and satisfying life – both personally and professionally.
FIRST, WORK ON YOUR OWN VISION
28 Desember 2010
Go For Gold Not Silver
Go For Gold Not Silver
Growing up, I was always told that I should not accept second best in life. We only have one shot at life, as far as we know at present, therefore you need to make the most of it. This article talks about this subject.
At the age of around twelve, I was bought a five foot snooker table for my birthday. This was something I had wanted for quite a long time and I have to say, it is probably the best present I was ever bought and I quickly became hooked on playing the game.
I would play snooker, either with friends or on my own, I did not care. My dream was to be the next Steve Davis, however I was aware that the chances of this happening were extremely slight.
Around six months later, I joined a local snooker hall with three of my friends, this is
Growing up, I was always told that I should not accept second best in life. We only have one shot at life, as far as we know at present, therefore you need to make the most of it. This article talks about this subject.
At the age of around twelve, I was bought a five foot snooker table for my birthday. This was something I had wanted for quite a long time and I have to say, it is probably the best present I was ever bought and I quickly became hooked on playing the game.
I would play snooker, either with friends or on my own, I did not care. My dream was to be the next Steve Davis, however I was aware that the chances of this happening were extremely slight.
Around six months later, I joined a local snooker hall with three of my friends, this is
19 Desember 2010
Finding the Right Coach
Finding the Right Coach
Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?
A friend of mine was recently at a Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen workshop. They were promoting their Enlightened Millionaire Program. One of the topics he told me they covered was looking for a personal coach.
Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?
A friend of mine was recently at a Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen workshop. They were promoting their Enlightened Millionaire Program. One of the topics he told me they covered was looking for a personal coach.
17 Desember 2010
The Search For A Stammering Cure
The Search For A Stammering Cure
Anybody who has to live life with a stammer will know just how much of a hinderance it can make what fluent people see as simple tasks. Making a phone call, ordering a drink, going out with friends and attending a job interview can be very hard for people who stammer or stutter.
My name is Steve Hill and I am one of these people who have had to endure the affects of stammering. I am now very happy to report that I have been fluent for the last ten years and life has never been so good.
Anybody who has to live life with a stammer will know just how much of a hinderance it can make what fluent people see as simple tasks. Making a phone call, ordering a drink, going out with friends and attending a job interview can be very hard for people who stammer or stutter.
My name is Steve Hill and I am one of these people who have had to endure the affects of stammering. I am now very happy to report that I have been fluent for the last ten years and life has never been so good.
16 Desember 2010
Just Say I Don't Know
Just Say I Don't Know
Why am I writing this? I don't know. I can give reasons, but I can't be sure they are accurate. Such ignorance is okay, or at least it should be. The temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual understanding. Let me explain...
Why am I writing this? I don't know. I can give reasons, but I can't be sure they are accurate. Such ignorance is okay, or at least it should be. The temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual understanding. Let me explain...
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